The day started out like any other, besides the fact it was Thanksgiving and the streets were quiet and calm and there was that crisp chill in the air that makes November, well November (and my favorite month of the year!). Something about November - monumental things have happened to me in this month. I was conceived somehow back in 74', lost my virginity at 17 (I know - should've waited!), got married to my jewel of a hubby and Guns n'Roses wrote a song about the rain and it being cold in November that I played continuously driving around in my little red escort as a teenager. November is transitional! So, anyway back to Z's story...J was super excited to help make a pumpkin pie with me and that was the first thing I thought of when I woke up – “Oh I better make that pie!”. Almost manically and stepford-wifeish. I had been having cramps and period-like symptoms for a good week and had a bloody show (well pink, really) that morning). C, J and I went down to the beach later in the afternoon where we walked and J played. I remember looking at C and thinking how hot he looked and voicing that attraction, and not just once, like several times (kind of random). Strolling Santa Barbara’s east beach that afternoon with my two dudes was the perfect set-up for early labor. I was having super mild contractions that were very easy to get through, but contractions nonetheless! By the time we left the beach it was close to 5pm. We immediately started preparing dinner and it was my self-appointed task to wash and rip the collard greens as C took over the rest. I wanted to participate even though I knew I was in labor, I wanted to stay consumed with something other that that fact. (That was one of the best bits of advice I took from Ina May Gaskin’s (simple yet brilliant) books! ---stay focused on something else in early labor!). I was still having mild contractions that were very spaced out and inconsistent. The sun was then going down and I was closing the blinds when my water broke, right there all over the wood floors. YES, I thought! C was outside of the living room window having just come back from taking out the trash and he saw me and the shocked look on my face (never having experienced a water breaking before as mine with J broke once I had been in the tub for quite a while and was well into active labor). When he walked in I blurted out what had happened and of course, calm-as-a-cucumber-C nonchalantly said we should call the midwife. I did this with enthusiasm, as my midwife had been acting very un-phased by my calls to her earlier in the day with updates on my sporadic contractions. So I was looking forward to a see-I’m-not-exaggerating phone call so she’d get her ass over here and I could have this baby. Which I knew was what was exactly happening very soon. Contractions from that point on became closer and closer together and way more intense. I was so intent on putting J to bed and he was so focused on helping me. One of my midwives showed up at 6pm and checked my dilation which was discouraging to hear was only between 2 and 3! J was just finishing up his Thanksgiving dinner at the table, which he clearly had no interest in. He kept saying, “I can’t think about dinner right now, I have to think about Mommy!” before he ran up and hugged my legs. It was really sweet and he kept coming over here and there to rub my leg when I’d lean against the wall for a contraction. I still wanted to get him in bed as soon as possible because I knew once I did she was going to be born. At some point right after the midwife checked my dilation I did the hepacleanse wash in the shower which was for the group beta strep test – which I tested positive for but clearly having no time to administer the antibiotic (**side note: they commonly do the hepacleanse in Europe rather than harsh anti-x regardless of test results). I then continued laboring. C was putting J to bed and at some point around 7pm I said goodnight (while in the middle of an INSTENSE contraction) and thank the lord he went down really well with no fuss, or panic regarding the unique situation that was unfolding before him. He never came out (which he often does most nights before actually falling asleep). We had the angels and goddesses around us for sure! The second midwife showed up right in time to blow up the birthing tub, which was super loud, I’m surprised J didn’t wake up (once again- thank you angels!). I kept laboring throughout the house, walking slowly around, while one of the two midwives pushed on my lower back where I was feeling a TON of pressure (just like my labor with J). C emerged from J’s room a little after 7 and I was so happy to see his face and have him by me for the remainder of the labor. I kept getting relief during a contraction from him and the other midwives despite the fact they each seemed to be doing something to set up since she was coming so fast, and I was really wanting to birth her in water. Finally the tub was ready at 8pm and I voiced my concern before getting in that I wasn’t sure I could do this (hello, transition!). One of my midwives said I could, that I was almost done. C reassured as well, which apparently helped because right after I recall climbing into the tub where I stayed for the remainder of my labor (which I didn’t know at the time was only to be another 20 min.!). At one point C started sort of giving me this Tony Robbins-esque speech like “I know you can do this, rah, rah, rah” kind of shit and I so wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up but I couldn’t get the words out. Whatever I did with my body language he got it and said no more. Looking back that was the one funny part of Z’s labor I’m sure she’ll appreciate hearing one day. I immediately knelt over once in the tub, kindof hanging my arms off the tub in a knelling position and one of the midwives then suggested I lie back and see how that felt. All in all, I have to say once I got into the tub it got really uncomfortable. And there could be a number of reasons for this. With J I was in the tub on and off for hours before he was born and if you know anything about water, especially warm water and what it does to tissues and how it has that amazing power to numb and soothe like a shot of whiskey, I wasn’t in long enough to get that assistance or relief with Z. I started pushing through contractions almost immediately upon entering the tub. I could feel everything! Her head coming down, extreme pressure, major intensity! Here’s where on the birth video I say “ouch, ouch!” and it wasn’t pain I was feeling but as of yet, we have no word to translate the feeling. It’s not pain, more like discomfort, total pressure and the most bizarre, indescribable sensation of raw transformation. Kind of comparable to being on the last stretch of a difficult and strenuous marathon or workout you’re not sure you can pull off. At one point one of the midwives suggested I feel her head as it was “right there,” she said. I did and I thought it felt really high up still. I recall feeling discouraged by that. As it seems with birthing, time started to stand still and that haze started to enter and at 8:21pm pacific standard time, my sweet baby girl was born! She was handed to me right after her head reached the water and I was, of course in shock and re-born myself as I sat there in utter amazement. I held her up before me and I couldn’t get over her adorable sqwooshed face and shocked expression at what had just transpired for her too. She, of course instantly captivated me as I started saying her beautiful name over and over as her father was behind my right shoulder crying and just staring at her! We were both beyond elated (as all new parents must be). I was hypnotized by the sight of her, couldn’t stop kissing her and was completely and totally in love with her as I am certain I will always be. What a beautiful day than turned into the most magical night and it goes without saying the best and most thankful I’ve ever been on any Thanksgiving. ~B
February 7, 2013
